Dubai skyline, seen from the gym

 

I love this town

(see full image) view of manhattan from my LIC rooftop

Once again, I am trying to restart my blog. With a new job in a new city, my time is not really my own these days so I’m following what I shall call the Loo Blog Strategy. These days, if you receive a personal email from me, it’s likely been written while I’m in a bathroom stall or while waiting for one because thats about all the personal time I get during the day. So, I figure, if I’m not responding to an email then at least I can blog – all within the time frame I can spend in the loo without raising the eyebrows of coworkers and clients.

Ah, what a life of efficiency I try to lead

 

The Unemployment Files: Cover Letters

All my beautiful plans to write extensively about job hunting has all fallen by the wayside, as I’ve been forced to get up to speed very quickly at my new job. But I came across this article that I thought was excellent — Ten Worst Things to Put in Your Cover Letter. I’ve gone and added a few of my own to the list, at the end:

1. Next to nothing
2. Criticism of a prospective employer
3. Personal stories
4. Awkward language
5. Someone else’s words
6. Irrelevant experience
7. Arrogance
8. Wrong company name/wrong cover letter
9. Cultural preferences
10. Jokes
11. Typos — total turn-off. Read your cover letters slowly and out loud before you send. Even read aloud the short email that you’re attaching your cover letter and CV to. I once dashed off a few sentences in an application email and sent it with the phrase “pubic health” instead of “public health.” It was horrifying when I discovered it after the fact. I didn’t get the job.
12. Hyperbole — be precise and don’t give in to the temptation to “talk up” your experience. If you’re applying to the right job that’s the right fit, you shouldn’t have to exaggerate your work or experience. Besides, the interviewer will probably be able to tell if you’re over-selling.
13. Only sentences that start with “I” — this might be a personal preference of mine, but I appreciate cover letters that use a variety of sentence structure. It just makes for an easier and more interesting read and it shows me that you’ve taken the time to craft a letter and not just provided me with a laundry list of things you’ve done.
14. Name-dropping — if you talked to the brother-in-law of a professor consulted to one of the organization’s former managers, don’t include those names. You’re clearly reaching for a connection that you and the interviewer both know is tenuous at best, so just leave it out. Now, if you’ve spoken with a senior VP who encouraged you to apply, that name might be worth including if you’ve received his/her permission to do so.
15. Irrelevant experience — just wanted to highlight #6 above. You only get 200-250 words in a cover letter, so make them count! Don’t tell the recruiter about the time you wrote for the school newspaper if you’re applying for a finance job.

More to come!

Here’s to hoping that you’ve all endured the East Coast Earthquake and Irate Irene with little lasting damage! I received a fake evacuation notice on my door, stayed out the storm in my Queens apartment, and the biggest drama of my weekend was watching The Day After Tomorrow on the night  before Irene and was convinced we were on the cusp of the next Ice Age ….

(It’s the dancing towards the end of this video that gets me …)

 

 

The Unemployment Files

So the thing about unemployment that nobody tells you, is how utterly soul-sucking and depressing it really is. Granted, my first couple months of having no job was utter bliss – I traveled, volunteered, visited friends and family, went to new places, tried new things, basked in the comfort of the USA, reveled in waking up with nothing particular to do except maybe decide which film at the Sundance Film Festival to watch. But being out of the US for two years also led me to underestimate just how bad the job market really is. And it’s bad. At June 2011, the unemployment rate was 9.2% and, as so many of us know, that doesn’t count the thousands of people who have just given up on looking for a job.

I used to wonder about those people. Those people who weren’t counted among the unemployed ranks because they had given up. I used to wonder why they would stop networking or why they wouldn’t just send out one resume a day or what they did with their days instead. Now I know. Because after the first few months of joyful unemployment and the happy twinkle of job leads and second interviews, there come the tedious, soul-shattering months of unwilling unemployment, of disappointing job leads that don’t pan out, of sleepless nights filled with unnerving questions about life decisions, financial stability, and whether the two years you just spent in Lesotho were really worth it.

Many of you know me in person. And I feel confident that you would generally describe me as a motivated, proactive individual with a rather sunny disposition. But by Month Six of unemployment, I was downright depressed. More than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Depressed, embarrassed, and entirely worthless. Here I was, two masters degrees, 10 years of experience, forprofit and nonprofit experience, time spent abroad — and still jobless, homeless, and dateless. I couldn’t even bring myself to blog about anything because I felt like if I didn’t mention the job hunt, it would be a glaring ommission.

But now that I am beyond that dark and twisty phase, now that I am not only gainfully employed but excited about the work itself, I think I can write about those months. And I want to write about them because maybe you’re looking for a job too. Or maybe you know someone who is looking for a job and you don’t know how else to support them. My period of unemployment is rather typical — 57% of unemployed people are unemployed for 15 weeks or more — so perhaps the lessons I learned will help others. First up: The Case of the Missing Cheer.

For now, enjoy and be a tad disturbed by this video:

 

Anti-climactic ending

I had my first NYC DMV experience this morning.

I showed up 30 minutes before it opened and was still about 65th in line. Ridiculous. Surprisingly, though, once I got inside, the process went pretty smoothly. I came with all the right paperwork, got my photo taken, and started to think that maybe, magically, the little suspension problem might have taken care of itself.

No such luck.

Turns out, the failure to appear for a summons was because of a ticket from 2003 (not 1996, as the poorly informed car insurance agent said) and evidently never paid. It was given in Fishkill, NY for not wearing a seat belt. Now, this is odd for a number of reasons — the first is that I have absolutely no recollection at all of being anywhere near Fishkill, NY ever in my life. The second is that I am somewhat obsessed with wearing a seat belt. And the third is that I always pay tickets!

So, after all that waiting in line, I had to call the Fishkill Justice Court, who told me that I just had to pay $105 to make it all go away. The woman actually used that phrase and it freaked me out a little … but away I went to get a certified check and put it in the mail. Too bad I have to spend another 2 hours in the DMV at some point in the future when I get the confirmation the ticket has been paid.

Meanwhile, it is hot as dickens in NYC. I’m so glad to be in Seattle this weekend for a wedding!

 

Driving in New York

I tried to get a car insurance policy today in the state of New York, my soon-to-be place of residence. Turns out, back in 1996 when I had a learner’s permit, I was summoned to appear. Neither my mother nor I have any recollection of receiving such a summons; most likely, it was lost in the mail since that was also the year when we moved from New York to Texas. And because I failed to appear, the wonderful Empire State has a permit suspension or some sort of black mark on my driving record and the insurance company can’t write the policy.

Seriously.

1996.

The year Lisa Marie filed for divorce from Michael Jackson. The year the Howard Stern show premiered. The year Alanis Morrissette won a Grammy for Jagged Little Pill. RENT opened on Broadway. Nintendo 64 was released. Jon Benet Ramsey died. Gas cost $1.22/gallon. Bin Laden moved to Afghanistan. Charles and Diana divorced. The IRA bombed the Docklands. The Summer Olympics were in Atlanta. eBay launched. DVDs came out in Japan. And I had a learner’s permit. I couldn’t even drive by myself! How could I have gotten some sort of ticket or driving violation? What on earth could I have been summoned for???

So, next week, when I finally move into my new place, I have to spend Day 2 in the DMV.

To be continued ….

My car looked like this. The AM/FM radio didn't work, the paint was faded, and the AC was broken. But I loved it!

 

Send me away with the words of a love song

With all the pausing and re-starting that I’ve unofficially been doing on my blog, you can call me Brett Favre. Of course, Favre is definitely not coming back this year. Then again, it seems that neither are any of the players. I will be devastated if there is no NFL season this year but to cope with the situation, I have a deal with a good friend of mine that we will watch one football movie each week for the 17 weeks of the regular season. Pretty great, right? You are all welcome to join – we just need to come up with another 5 or so football movies. Your suggestions are welcome – and yes, we’ve already thought of the obvious ones, so you only get points if your movie is an obscure one.

Alright, quick notes for now and hopefully big news to follow in the next week or so:

1. I’m moving into an apartment in NYC and I will be sharing it with a gay man and a minister. It is gonna be so.very. awe.some.
2. My Brooklyn-born and raised aunt has turned me on to country music.
3. My immediately family will once again be scattered on three continents but at least I have inherited a SonicCare toothbrush and a Wii.
4. Judging by the rates I was quoted by companies to move the contents of a DC storage unit to a NYC apartment, you should be looking a jobs with moving companies if you’re unemployed.
5. I’ve learned an awful lot during this season of unemployment and will be sharing my thoughts on this blog.

Stay tuned and stay well.

 

Gender Roles and Poetry

Over the past month, I’ve been lucky enough to have had some really good dates with some great guys (ah yes, these are among the benefits of not living in tiny town in southern Africa). And over the course of four dates with the same guy, we kept circling back to the topic of gender roles and what defines masculinity and femininity. (I know, not exactly first-date friendly conversations but, whatever, it was engaging conversation). Anyway, one of the thorny-ish aspects of our conversations and many of our unanswered questions have been around the definition of a woman, what is “women’s work” and how it’s changed over the years … and how no one has really talked about how this change in women’s roles changes men’s roles. Men were once the breadwinners, the providers of their families, the leaders of companies and churches and organizations, etc., and now women are able to take on those roles — so does that leave a sort of void for what makes a man, a man? Are men perhaps a bit justified in feeling left out of the feminist conversation? As a society, we’ve redefined womanhood (rightfully) but there hasn’t really been a conversation about redefining manhood. The only place where I can think of this conversation happening is in the evangelical Christian church — through programs and books like John Eldridge’s Wild at Heart or any of the bajillion sermon series out there on “biblical manhood.” But we’re talking about big social upheaval here — women are now 51% of the American workforce and that represents a pretty significant social upheaval, as this really great Economist article points out. Why should this conversation be confined to the church? Where’s the larger societal discussion? Should there be one?

Anyway, big, sweeping, societal discussions aside, a friend of mine sent me this Rudyard Kipling poem that is probably familiar to many of you. I would argue that these traits are important for any human, whether male or female, but I do wish I could find more men who embody the words of this poem. And I’d definitely go on at least 4 dates with him, too.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

–Rudyard Kipling

(HT: Economic Eye)

 

Lullabies for Love

Hey Boston friends! You should go to this CD launch party on May 15 at Club Passim in Harvard Square. Not only will you get to hear amazing music, you’ll get to hear from the one-of-a-kind Anthony Mulongo, visiting the U.S. from Mombasa, Kenya, where he founded and runs a home for orphaned girls. See the below blog post from the Music Road blog.

Celtic Kenya musical connection

Blog: Music Road - 11 May 2011

By: kerry dexter

Kenya, Boston, Ireland, Scotland — there’s connection there, and a connection shown through music in the album Lullabies for Love. Many of the musicians you’ve met here along the music road, along with a few who may be new to you, have joined together to offer you a fine range of Celtic tinged lullabies, to benefit One Home Many Hopes in Kenya. One Home Many Hopes is an orphanage, but not just another orphanage. It finds, rescues, houses, loves and educates orphaned and abandoned girls in Mtwapa, Kenya and goes beyond that. By the education and love shown them, and the challenges offered, it equips these young women to be agents of change in their community and build for the future, and the present.

The work of One Home Many Hopes and the spirit oof the young women who live there caught the imagination of Lindsay O’Donovan, who wrote the song Lullabye for Love, and the recording project evolved from there.
Heidi Talbot and Cherish the Ladies contribute the gentle song Castle of Dromore, the Donegal based band Altan offer Dún do Shuil, a lullabye in Irish with a chorus and title whose words mean close your eyes, and award winning fiddle player and composer Liz Carroll offers A Day and an Age. Aoife Clancy adds The Gartan Mother’s Lullabye, while Hanneke Cassel, Ariel Friedman, and Shannon Heaton join O’ Donovan for the title song. Karan Casey, Keith Murphy, Dougie MacLean, Aoife O’ Donovan, and Alasdair Fraser are just a few of the other artists who add their music. It’s a project that will bring hours of good listening to your life, and help the lives and hopes of others at the same time.

To hear a bit of the music from the recording, and to see how to purchase your own copy, follow this link Lullabies for Love

There’s a benefit concert celebrating the CD release on 15 May at Club Passim in Cambridge, Massachusetts. The concert is sold out, but wherever you are in the world, you will be able to join in the fun and the music by watching on line through Concert Window. It’s set for 4.30 to 7.30 US Eastern Daylight time.

 

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

– Max Ehrmann, 1927